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The Child Under The Stairs

By Bethan

WARNING: This story has been rated as Parental Guidance. It may be a little scary or cover more mature themes which may not be suitable for our very youngest readers. Click the show button to open the story if you are happy to continue.
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39 Comments

  • Peter Hudson

    A great story Beth, I’m really impressed by this one. It’s very exciting….

  • I love it! It’s fantastic how you build the fear and anticipation – I just really want to know what is going to happen next! I used to love writing stories when I was your age- a great story – keep it up!

  • Really enjoyed your story and i want to know what happens next
    You are very creative and i hope you continue to write such good and interesting stories.well done

  • This is really exciting! What happens next! We need another chapter! Super story Beth!

  • Felt like I was running too!! I agree, next chapter needed! Very talented young lady. Can’t wait to read more :-)

  • The story is brilliantly structured. The tension is built perfectly and straight from the first lines the reader is in, hooked and empathising with the two girls.
    There is a major talent here and what a cliffhanger ending! Faultless.

  • Wow Beth I’m so impressed. This is a fantastic story and makes you really want to know what’s going to happen next. It’s very tense and lots of anticipation at the end. I hope you keep writing it so we can see what happens! Xx

  • fabulous story – we should definitely get a second chapter!! Well done!

  • Really enjoyed this story beth!next chapter please?xx

  • What shall you do next???!!!!! STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
    What happens next? I won’t sleep tonight………….well done you!

  • What an exciting story, its really descriptive, so you are there as you read; the suspense builds gradually, but towards the end it gets so exciting. I really want to know what happens next, if the child under the stairs gets out???? A real cliff hanger. A budding novelist!

  • what a fabulous story, your use of descriptive words made me feel like i was actually there with you! i did not want it to end! what happens next?????? well done

  • What an exciting, suspenseful story. I can’t wait to hear what happens next; as I read the story, I could see it in my minds eye, so this really is very descriptive and clever. I wonder what happens to the child under the stairs…..hope they get out okay!

  • Wow! This is amazing! And very scary to read at night! I really want to know who The Man is, and how you escape from under the stairs……Well done for such a great story!

  • Excellent story, very well written, full of suspense and excitement. Well done Beth. What happens next?????

  • Well, as an English teacher, I have been looking at and listening to all the previous winners online with some of my secondary school classes. I can categorically state that this is as good as the ones online. I loved how they fell ‘not too gracefully’ out of the bag; amongst other things in the story, it really helped with the tone and made me feel as if the narrator was telling the story directly to me. Bethan, well done: make sure you enter the Rotary Young Writers’ Competition when you get to St Augustine’s! :-)

  • This is a great short story, Beth! I agree with everyone else-we need another chapter please!!! And don’t be too disappointed about missing this competition, there will be plenty more opportunities for you to enter others and by then you’ll have written a whole book! :)

  • What a super story! I hope you add another chapter soon, Beth; I’m not sure I can cope with the suspense! Keep writing!

  • I love this story! You have really created atmosphere and given vivid descriptions that make the reader want to carry on reading. You have used varied and interesting vocabulary to help create an exciting feeling to the story. I would really enjoy reading more. Keep writing! I am looking forward to sharing this story with the pupils I work with on writing in school! Thank you for this!

  • Never mind another chapter, I want to read the rest of the book! What a fantastic writer you are, so much suspense and intrigue, and great language choices. You really do have a talent – next Jacqueline Wilson or Michael Morpurgo :-)

  • This is brilliant Beth! Please write another chapter, I really need to know what happens!

  • Hi Beth. What a great little writer you are, I was transfixed and the faster you ran the quicker I read, I was there in the cupboard with you at the end! We definitely need another chapter (or more) to find out what happens next. :)

  • This is a very mature piece of extended writing. Very well thought out and highly interesting. You’re grammar ( ha ha ) was highly appropriate.

    Please see William for your reward

  • Bethan – what a fabulous story, I’m hooked and want to know what happens next, what happens to you and Jessica, I’m also wondering if the puppy makes it home with you. You paint a wonderful picture with the words you choose, there’s tension and excitement and in just 500 words you’ve made me care about the characters – an amazing accomplishment for any author. Well done and keep writing!!! Thanks for sharing your story. Jacqueline. Ps finish the story and then sell it as a Kindle book :-)

  • Wow Beth. What an absolutely amazing story- I cant wait til I get to teach you!! I love the opening line- I was gripped from the very start. The characters are fabulous- I really like the bit of humour with the not so graceful fall and the very tense ending. More please!!

  • The opening is a really good hook and made me want to read on to find out more about the character; then you have a really tense middle section, with lots of action. On top of all that, you ask the reader what to do at the end, inviting them to take part, which is kind of frustrating in a good way, because we need more, so that we may see how it all pans out!

  • Wow! The story had me hooked from the start. Fantastic piece of writing Bethan. You are a super dooper talented writer :)

  • Hi Beth,
    I really enjoyed reading your story. It was so exciting and I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next! I hope you are going to write the next stage!
    Well done!

  • What an exciting story! We have to find out what happens next!!
    Well done.

  • Hi Beth,
    Wow you are a super writer. I can’t wait to have another chapter. You really know how to create suspense. Well done and keep writing.

  • A captivating and compelling narrative. I loved reading it, you have created great tension in your story. Maybe some more metaphors in your next story would bring it even more to life. A superb story, well done! X

  • Hi Beth!

    This is a great story, full of excellent descriptive writing and suspense. I can really picture myself there amongst the ‘tall trees and low branches’ and I found myself reading faster and faster as you made your escape. I do hope you will write another chapter, as I so want to know what happens next! You should definitely keep writing, as you have a real talent for it. Well done! x

  • What a great story……packed with incident! It was very pacy and really quite frightening. Just when I thought you were safe ….it veered towards danger again. You’ll have to write more or none of us will be able to sleep. Also what a great idea of Dad’s,posting it online.

  • I enjoyed reading your story,Beth. It shows a great deal of talent and you should be proud of your achievement. You described how you felt as the story unfolded and this is not always an easy thing to do.What impressed me most was your ability to create an atmosphere and carry your readers along with you. Keep reading, keep learning and most of all keep writing!

  • Such a great story, Bethan!! Perfectly written & full of suspense……a second chapter very soon, PLEASE!!! xxxx

  • Bethan

    ok i have thought about what happens next and will get started right away
    :)

  • isabella

    A.M.A.Z.I.N.G loved it wish I could be that good at writing also I went into a trance reading it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) 😉

  • Fantastic Beth! What a brilliant story teller you are!

  • What a brilliant story – full of suspense.

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